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Think Boldly
“Think boldly.
Don’t be afraid of making mistakes.
Don’t miss small details,
keep your eyes open and be modest in everything except your aims.”
- Albert-Szent-Gyorgyi (1893-1986)
Will you Marry Me?
A Miracle arrives where there is great love.
If there is no risk, love cannot exist.
I take you to be my lawfully wedded life partner, to have and to hold from this day forward,
for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.
In sickness - the exact moment of change, a kaleidoscope of emotions rush in:
hope, denial, anger, overwhelmed, bargaining, depression, acceptance, annoyance,
accommodation, impatience, rage, fear, catastrophizing, panic, relief, gratitude.
STOP--the negative script running wild through my mind.
In moments of doubt, I ask myself,
Why me? and then, as quickly I answer Why not me?
In the beginning, much to learn, so much hope.
My new life follows me wherever I go.
My loved one has the disease, but I remember the pills, the water, the snacks, the reminders.
Simultaneously together yet disconnected, such a conundrum, a mystery.
Staying together while letting go, loneliness is hard, ambiguous loss, anticipatory grief.
Sustenance, support, solace. . . what will sustain me through this journey?
I reach out, asking for help, opening my heart to family, friends, and professionals.
I joined a support group, a haven, an ark, a lifesaver, empathetic and compassionate friends.
I galvanize my resources for I am strong, resilient, resourceful, proactive, but everything is new.
Even in the darkest hours of the night, the morning will come, the light shines in—a new day.
Today may bring the beginning of a new dream, a new reality but
The disease progresses.
It’s the disease, not my loved one . . . it’s the disease, not my loved one. . . it’s the disease.
A new normal reveals itself to me as I release the past,
All the while determined to save a life, my own life.
Embracing my feelings while looking toward tomorrow.
A defining moment, an exact moment, a diagnosis, an unplanned dip in the pool.
But climbing out of the deep end, I learned I can swim, survive, and stand tall.
– Eileen Adler - 1/2019
Life Lesson: “A first impression doesn’t have to be a first depression,” stated Marty Adler, my husband, when he first heard his diagnosis in 2003. “Ipsa scientia potestas est” translates to “knowledge itself is power.”