EILEEN ADLER

"Courageous care partners recharge with self-care, striving for peaceful pinnacles
in patience, persistence, and positive 
changes, knowing when to conquer and when to comfort."

Michael A. Singer’s formula for success was very simple:

Mar 18, 2024 by Eileen Adler

“Do whatever is put in front of you with all your heart and soul without regard for personal results. Do the work as though it were given to you by the universe itself – because it was.’

Michael A. Singer wrote The Surrender Experiment: My Journey into Life’s Perfection, published in 2015.When a care receiver becomes agitated, what’s the best way to handle this? No matter how perplexing this seems, this is normal; we all lose our composure sometimes, and handling these moments with all your heart and soul can be daunting.
 


First, assess the situation leading toward possible solutions or responses. Don’t take the behavior personally; your care receiver is not doing this on purpose or trying to upset you. If possible, redirect the person with a suggestion they are likely to respond to positively. Keep yourself safe and lastly, if you feel threatened, contact an authority figure. Once the situation has deescalated, take a few deep breaths.


                                                                                                                                                   
If the situation is beyond a point of reason, don’t engage, but if you must talk, use a calming and even tone, even if you feel angry.  “Wow, I hear how frustrated you are. It’s totally okay to be upset.” Acknowledge their feelings: I see you” and “I hear you” and I’m here to help. 





Next, set boundaries – you are not explaining or negotiating the boundary, you are stating the facts. These are the limits and stick to them, re-stating them if needed and then give them a hug. Without words, you are communicating that you care about them, even if you don’t agree with their behavior.  

 

Life Lesson: Schedule an appointment with your loved one’s doctor to confirm that their poor behavior is not caused by any new or worsening physical or mental health problems.

“You can’t stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.”
― A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh